By Pakar PBN 
The last time we sailed with our parents, my brother and my sister and I were in the twenties and the interior jokes are those that we still have not lived: run the bar tab, sprinter to catch the ship in the port and drive as if we were in the Bahamas.
So here we are again, exactly 25 years later, launching together in another Caribbean cruise together. This time, with our parents and our own children – adolescents and a 20 -year -old child – trailer, 15 of us in total.
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The trip is a gift from our parents, who decided to spend part of our inheritance on vacation memories instead of leaving it in their will. The agreement was that they would pay for plane tickets, cruising and port costs. Everything, jokes, except our bar bar.
Anticipation (and expectations)
We were excited. We had six months before boarding to anticipate and plan and dream, but also to ask ourselves: could we really manipulate all the sets all the time for seven days? I was nominated, the brother who lives far, to be the one to speak to mom and dad of their expectations and wishes.
Dad just wanted everyone to be healthy and could get on the ship and make the trip. He had no expectations of time together and was happy to let it happen naturally. Mom said her biggest wish was that we all sit for dinner together in the formal dining room at 5:15 am every night. Beyond that, everything happens. Okay, feasible, the brothers and sisters accepted.
Boarding and a sea of matching t-shirts
I would not do that to you, said mother, with the family after the family in matching t-shirts began to line up outside the Port Canaveral cruise terminal with us. We have never been this family which brought coordinated outfits for family portraits or matching pajamas at Christmas, and mom knew that we are rechoking the suggestion of twinning shirts on the theme of the cruise. However, I loved the extended family wearing wedding anniversary t-shirts with three versions: spending our inheritance / investing the money from our grandparents / investing the money from our parents … A cruise at a time.
Flashbacks and Flash-Forward
The embarkation day and the next six days by cruise were a strange and wonderful state to have a foot in the past and one in the present. I couldn’t help but see moments through the two goals, often simultaneously.
I felt the excitement of have a good trip Then and now. I heard the same animated exchange of travel tales of the day around the dinner table, stories to spot a monkey and a spider baby, or diving with snorkel with lines. I looked at my daughter and her cousins swinging fabric towels above the head during the Italian night parade, just like my brothers and sisters and I did all these years ago.
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Mom also felt the moments in a full circle. During the trip, she mentioned that her favorite part of a particular day was to see everyone at dinner together and watch her grandchildren order their own food and try new things like lobster and steak tartare. Just as we did.
I remembered the fun nights and the freedom that my brothers and sisters and I had on the ship 25 years ago. So, when my brother and I tried without success to find our children after midnight one night at the Massive New Year’s Pool Pont Day, we just had to laugh and accept the return on investment.
Now we are the adults who do things our parents have done once – merchanting the taxi price, planing excursions on a budget and teaching our own children how to swap with market sellers for t -shirts and shell bracelets.
The first day in Port, when dad put a little money for each of the grandchildren for memories, he did it with the same smile and the lean advice he gave when we were children: never pay the high price. I did not realize that the cruise 25 years ago was the place where I learned the lesson of life that everything is negotiable.
The world is larger than Indiana
This trip was the first time that my Indiana nieces and nephews went outside the United States and Canada. Seeing their expressions and hearing their fear reminded me of my own experience that changed life 25 years ago on this first cruise of the family, opening their eyes and arousing an insatiable curiosity for others and places.
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Like me all these years ago, my brother’s children were ready to move to the Caribbean after a day of diving with snorkel with sea turtles, sip Coca-Cola of a bottle and splash the puddles of the Mexican market in a downpour. All these things still bring me joy, a joy that is doubled when I can share their first experiences … Teach them to empty their ears and dive when diving, or to explain Europeans when they asked why some guys wore such small swimsuits.
Choose
There have been several times in the port and on the ship when my brothers and sisters and I gave our children the freedom to do their own thing, and sometimes they have chosen to spend time with us parents. I remembered being in their place and doing the same thing 25 years ago. I couldn’t help but smile every time it happened, this time, as a parent.
One night on the ship, the brothers and sisters and our parents played cards. My 20 year old daughter, who was with her cousins and their new friends, sent a message asking what I was doing. When I sent a message, she and some of her cousins joined us and we taught them to play Euchre, a card game that our family has played for generations.
While we were playing, we laughed and told family stories about the moment we were young – about the first cars, Fender Benders, Breaking Bones doing something stupid. What a gift, this time, these connections.
Pressing a life trip
My sister spoke of feeling fired in many directions and wanting to make the most of every moment as a girl, mother, woman, aunt and sister. I also had a game and I felt worried about it the first days of the trip. I wanted to be everywhere with everyone. I wanted mom and dad to have the journey of a life.
I did not think of what I wanted or that I needed. But then my daughter showed me. I watched her assert herself in a way that I would never have had at the age of 20. She called the cabin steward to change her duvet when she noticed a stain, and she clearly communicated on her severe gluten allergy when ordering each meal.
Once I started doing what I wanted – developing the theater show after dinner with my parents, diving every day in Port, taking an impromptu salsa lesson and occasional nap – I felt more comfortable. Memorable moments have occurred naturally. I made long beach walks with dad, discussions on the beach with mom, yoga and a drop in infinity pool with my sister, lunch under a palapa with my brother and so many special experiences with each of the children.
Sometimes I surprised myself feeling deep joy just watching everyone has fun being together. It happened when we walked in the rain one day and the children could not stop laughing several steps in front of us. I felt it again when I dive apnea above my brothers and signs of scuba diving and children, looking at a lobster and have between an underwater sculpture.
The last night of the cruise, when I asked Dad if he had a good trip, he smiled and said yes, but the best part was to see his children and grandchildren have fun. Mom said the same thing. Earlier in the week, I was worried and wondered if they appreciated it; They had not dive into apnea or joined other activities. But finally I understood.
We landed with new memories and jokes inside, with a new admiration for a niece that overcome a fear and a brother who took a risk. Goodbye hugs lasted a little longer than usual. Gratitude was overwhelming. We continue to dwell on the sidewalk outside the cruise terminal, not quite ready to separate us.
The next day, each of us brothers and sisters called our parents by saying about the same thing: it seemed weird not to have been able to speak to you today and that I wanted, so I thought of calling.